very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
