You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize