so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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