please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
