the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
