God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
