what day is it and did you see me today?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My vagina just clenched in fear
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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