I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
