i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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