One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Randomize
