i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
