That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
