thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
