wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
