I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He is an equal opportunity slut.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
