hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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