She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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