She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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