Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
