May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
