if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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