Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
