i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize