Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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