Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
