I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
