Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
