Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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