where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
