Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
