I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
