There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
