we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
