He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
