Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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