I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i've created a new STD.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
