i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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