On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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