Me. At least after what I've been through.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
