She's JV to your varsity
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
