Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
