So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
