So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
