were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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