so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
