Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
