What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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