I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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