I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
