In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
