After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Be still, my beating vagina.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
