Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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