Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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