He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
