their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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