And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
